Trying to live with Chronic Illness

Body Positivity and Disability

Picture shows the title of the blog, with someone sat in meditation position but you can only see one leg and arm as the hand rests on the knee and there are white flowers sprinkled all over them with the title of the post written below

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Hey everybody!

The summer is here and I am wearing a lovely skirt and a pretty vest top and I should be feeling happy but I am feeling self conscious. I suffered with eating disorders, I look in the mirror and I only see my flabby arms and my tummy that is thin but not at all toned and it makes me feel so deflated. I used to be extremely thin and toned and now my illnesses have worsened and I am struggling to feel any body positivity with my disability!

I see all the adverts with the models with perfect bodies, I watch the you tubers working out in Hollywood; and I feel that pressure on me to eat everything with avocados and to work out in the gym every day! However, I have new diagnoses that mean my neck needs to be protected more and my joined are more prone to dislocation so yoga the way I used to do it has been taken off the table.

Honestly, since I was told this I have found my fitness level has seriously worsened and my body is not as toned and really my pain and fatigue have worsened! To me doing daily yoga is important but I feel a little lost as to how to practice and how to increase my fitness without doing harm.

Now obviously people are probably going to chime in with ‘get a fitness trainer’ however the fact that I can rarely leave the house and the cost that is really not an option. I am kind of left with the option of you tube which is what I have been using but I feel like I am starting all over again and the motivation when my fatigue levels are where they are now and with my pain is so hard to find! I would love to just go for a simple walk, but the weather is hot here right now and I keep having dizzy spells so that is not much of an option for me to do I wouldn’t want to have a fall out on my own!

So am I left looking in the mirror feeling like my outside doesn’t match my inside? That I am doomed to not being able to feel healthy and sexy because I have chronic illnesses? Do you guys think this is what I should just accept or is there another way that I have yet to see or hear about? I would love some input so please leave me a comment, drop me an email, or hit me up on instagram honestly I need some help not feeling like Buddha every time I look at my tummy!

Namaste xxx

PS. I have been nominated in the WEGO Health Awards for my you tube channel and would love it if you would please click below and consider endorsing me thank you x

 

 

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3 Responses to Body Positivity and Disability

  • Hi Beverley,
    I would ask your specialist to recommend exercise for you – there may be something on-line or a DVD they can recommend?
    Lowen x

  • Yoga can be an issue because of stretching the joints too far but there are still some kinds you can do to help strengthen. I’ve seen people use pilates more. Core strength is really important because good posture and keeping you spine aligned means you have less issues with disc herniation etc and if you can strengthen the muscles around your joints they can help support them. It just has to be done really slowly.
    Exercise physiologists are the ones recommended most out here. I don’t know if you can see them on the NHS there. Someone that knows about EDS & Hypermobility is good because you need to not push joints too far, especially if they’re sublaxing.
    My physio recommends Tai Chi. There are beginner ones you can do from sitting so you don’t fall. I’m meant to start but I’ve been so tired.
    I’ll try and find the link for the Tai chi YouTube thing if you want.

    If you are dizzy in the heat have you had your blood pressure checked when you are standing? Mine drops when I stand and I can pass out. It means drinking lots of water and salt and I’m on to taking meds to reduce my heart rate because it’s too fast & irregular.

    I walk with a cane to help with balance but I also avoid heat as much as possible. I don’t go outside in summer if I can avoid it at all. If I need to walk I go to the shopping centre that is air conditioned.

    I’ve always been fat though. I’ve had joint issues and pain since I was about 6 and I was always just told to lose weight. It never worked. The more I exercised, the more pain and damage I did. The best thing I can do is swimming and hydrotherapy as the water helps support me so I don’t fall over and helps stop my blood pressure dropping and I can do a lot more exercise in the water than on land. It supports my joints.
    Because I’ve always been big it’s not really something that’s bothered me. When I was in my early 20s the meds I was put on made me put on 30kg and I’ve never lost it. I’m a size 18/20 now but I’ve made my piece with it. Try and get as strong as you can to support your joints and reduce your pain and increase your stamina but my suggestion would be to try and except and love your body at what ever size and tone it is, it’s fighting a hard fight and has a lot to deal with. Emotionally hating that is only going to make you more miserable and make the journey harder. I know it’s way easier said than done. It took me a long time to get to this point. It was looking at big girls on Tumblr and realising I didn’t find them unattractive so why did I hate myself so much. I just dont think toned is the only way to be sexy or beautiful or strong. My body is carrying me through the day with multiple sublaxes, pinched nerves and daily migraines and it keeps on going. It is strong and amazing.

    • Thank you so much for this, I think most people whether they have an illness or not struggles with body positivity it is so so hard! I am hoping that now the weather has settled I can get back to my yoga I do gentle yoga on you tube by someone called sleepysantosha if you look her up she has EDS and other chronic illnesses so her routines are perfect. I just need to realise I will never get back to how I was before I was sick and that is okay xx

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Hello

Hi there I am Beverley, I am a Buddhist Christian trying to find a way to live with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, spondylitis, Depression and General Anxiety Disorder. I live with my Husband Lee and our dog Gizmo and our budgies Rey and Finn. I live in England and look forward to getting to know you better. I will be updating once a week, usually a Monday.

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