Wow last week was a bit of a nightmare! It was such a busy and stressful week and that is why I didn’t have a blog post on Friday I was so wiped out and I still am!
The week before I got letters saying I have to be reassessed for both of my disability benefits. I hate when they do this and if you are in England and unable to work I am sure you can understand why I was so stressed about it. People who are not specialists and doctors, unlike the specialists and doctors who diagnosed us, sit and ask us questions then someone else decides if we are worthy of having money!
It is really scary because if I did not get paid my benefits we would struggle to keep our wonderful home and it would change everything! The thought that you can have someone assess you who doesn’t see how much pain you are in, or the anxiety disorder and depression you have can change your whole life is terrifying!
It was a busy week too, I had the PIP reassessment at our home on Wednesday, the woman seemed nice and we answered her questions as best we could. Thursday I had a physiotherapy appointment at the hospital and then Friday we had to drive about an hour away to be seen by someone for the ESA benefit!
As someone who tries to pace, I tried to rest as much as I could, having mornings in bed and going back to bed as early as possible but still as I sit here writing this days later I feel awful! My pain has flared as has my fatigue which was already in a flare as it was! On top of that my anxiety disorder which was manageable for a while thanks to meditation flared and I was in this strange place of anxiety level 9 all week!
Can anyone explain to me why they have to keep reassessing us when we have chronic health conditions that worsen over time and not improve? How much money is being wasted on this process? And why do they not trust our doctors who have diagnosed us with these illnesses?
I can honestly say that last week made me feel so awful, my husband who has epilepsy and migraines was worried sick and is all the stress worth it? My husband and I are still dealing with stress because I have to wait a few weeks for another person to look over the forms that the person who saw me filled in! Last week was so busy and stressful and honestly I cannot wait to hear if we will be getting by like we have been or if we will have a big problem ahead!
If you are going through reassessment and your condition is variable like mine are it is so hard to answer their questions. I was told by my doctor to respond for a bad day so I made sure to mention what I am like on a bad day so they know. We can only hope things change and get better, this system costs so much money and puts so much stress on people who are already dealing with so much just by trying to live!
I am doing my best to turn to alternative therapies to cope but I can feel the tension in my body making my pain worse and it makes me angry. Please try to support to anyone going through this right now and I hope we get good news back.