This week I have felt all over the place and honestly it had all been because of pacing problems! I think this is something that all chronic illness warriors will agree with me about, pacing is a constant struggle!!
In the past I have posted about how to pace yourself for special occasions, and for a while there I thought I had it down pretty well. However, now I have a low blood count again, and the house is getting dusty and I just wish I could find a way to juggle all the things that need doing with the amount of energy my body can give me for a day.
I used to use an app on my ipad called Planner pro to plan out my days and the things that needed to be done. Pacing problems were controlled by sitting every morning over breakfast and going through what I needed to do and sticking to it. However, as with anything I got cocky and stopped using it and now I am struggling to keep to a routine that makes sure my jobs get done without making myself too tired and in pain.
I hope that if you are reading this you will be able to see that nobody is perfect and anyone can fall off good habits. It is important for us all to take a breath sometimes and just appreciate that we are doing our best. We are human and though we wake every day with the best intentions they don’t always play out for a multitude of reasons.
Personally I have come to have a lot more compassion for myself over the last year, and I have noticed showing myself love has really helped my mental health. In the past I would have looked around at dusty surfaces and really beaten myself up for not getting them cleaned twice a week. I had very little time for my own mistakes and now after therapy and working on mindfulness I realise that I don’t have to listen to those negative thoughts.
It is not easy to do but I am so thankful I have been working so hard because now while I sit here at the computer my mind is on the job at hand and I am not constantly criticising myself.
I named this blog Blooming Mindfulness because through my illnesses I have come to realise that having my mind on what I am doing, is a game changer! My anxiety is still there, those thoughts are still there, but I just let them pass on by like clouds passing through a beautiful blue sky on a sunny day.
So tomorrow I am going to try and get back into my planning app, and I am going to try and get back to all the jobs that need doing but in a healthy way. Maybe cleaning the living room will take me a few days, but at least if I do a little every day I will feel better than doing nothing.