Well the last few days I have found myself tired very very tired. Each day I say I am going to get up and do yoga and meditate and do housework and then I find myself unable to wake up with the alarm and so tired all day I just want to curl into a little ball and sleep.
This is one of the many problems with chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia that people don’t tend to talk about and that is the intense want to do things. It isn’t like when you get home from work and plop down on the sofa and watch TV exhausted…it is more like that times by a million and on top of that you want to go out with friends, or just tidy up the house.
Fatigue was once explained to me like this…imagine we all have a rechargable battery inside us and it charges every night while you sleep. That battery has a whole day’s worth of energy in it. However if you have a problem like chronic fatigue syndrome, or fibromyalgia, etc, then this battery only recharges once a week. So I have a day’s worth of energy to last me a week so I need to plan everything very carefully but even then sometimes your body is just over tired and you cannot concentrate or think straight you are so tired.
I am finding though that because this increase of fatigue as well as my depression have left me gaining a little weight and feeling like a useless lump. It is a viscious circle where you want to do things to help out like housework or exercise but instead you end up sleeping which makes you depressed which makes you more tired and then you end up just feeling a bit crappy.
So right now I am trying my best to fight through and though it is incredibly hard I am determined to keep exercising as much as I can and doing as much to help out in the house as possible. I feel a bit demoralized and defeated but I think many people with chronic illness feel the same way, it is a part of long term illness that people don’t tend to think about. It is all about physical symptoms but as people we want to contribute and be a worthwhile part of society, so include people with illness into your life because they want to go and have fun and go shopping and all sorts of things….we just need a little help.