First of all sorry I needed to take a little break but it has to be expected when you run a blog with chronic illnesses! Also I had my PIP assessment which is to see if I qualify for a benefit here in the UK and the stress and worry from that has not helped!
However, here I am half asleep and frankly p***ed off!!! My fatigue has flared and I honestly feel like I am trapped inside my body! I try to keep up with my housework and to do things that make me feel human, like shower and wash my face and get dressed, but it is a constant battle! I wake up every morning after sleeping like the dead feeling just as tired as the night before and yet I have things I need to do on that day!
I find myself feeling so guilty when my husband is at work and I am just lying about doing nothing but staring into space. I wonder if he would be happier without me and if I am just a useless lump. Then I have to try and shake off the depression and try not to do an impression of Eeyore so I can hopefully pull myself out of this slump and get things done.
I wish I could say this will be a useful and positive post but honestly I am just fed up! I have things I want to get done, like my yoga practice and bible study and a little housework just like I could before and yet I feel so tired and my body feels so heavy I can barely think straight no matter get jobs done!
So instead of giving out tips and tricks of how I deal with things I am reaching out to the chronic illness community and asking for tips? Do you suffer with fatigue and if you do how do you make sure that jobs and goals do not just pile up while you nap? Leave me some comments here or on social media links are around let me know please? I need something to help before I go mad!
Hi guys hope you are all well?
The last few days I have been enjoying the sunshine here in the UK, it has been lovely to sit in the garden and feel the warmth and just meditate. This is something I have only really been doing for a couple of years and I still struggle to do well. However meditating is something I try to do every day if I can and I tend to do it after my yoga practice if the house is calm and quiet enough.
Meditation is not about shutting off your thoughts but realising that you are in control of them and not them of you. It has helped me to overcome a lot of the anxiety I have suffered with my whole life, and there are times it has helped me to calm down my depressive thoughts and to relax my body when my pain has been bad. I would recommend it to anyone and there is some great guided meditation on you tube!
The downside of the sunshine for me is the heat, now as with a lot of people with chronic illness I struggle to control my body temperature. Year round I sleep with a fan on me and I find if I get too hot I get migraines and they have come back with a vengeance recently I am back up to 3-4 a week and they are tiring so I am thinking of going back to my Dr if they carry on.
I did have some good news today though, if you remember I had to go to be assessed about my disability benefits and it was so stressful, however I just heard that they are not taking me off them! To hear that they could see I was genuine and cannot work was great, they suggested that I could do voluntary work and if I keep working on my anxiety I might think of that for the future.
If you want a good laugh do check out Ozzy Man Reviews Julien Solomita a you tuber I follow suggested him and he is so funny!
Take care Namaste x
Hi guys! Well it has been a busy couple of days and I am really feeling it now! I just took a 2hour nap and I feel like a zombie but after much thought I decided to update my blog every Wednesday and Sunday and so here I am.
Yesterday our friend Tracy came over, she is a lovely person who works with Lee and also practices Reiki. I love meditation and yoga as you all know and this is just another way to keep your chakras clear and your spiritual self protected and healthy.
I have been feeling the presence of a spirit in our home that did not feel nice at all, it definitely felt male and though I am usually open to spirits I could not see or feel it clearly. One night I came back downstairs after going to bed to find a heavy feeling in the living room and a mouldy horrible smell…our house is a new build and does not have any mould!
Last time Tracey did Reiki on me she found me to be open, my spirit to be clean no negative energy at all, but this time it was very different! She said it was like someone had put a cloak of negativity over me and she could feel my chakras were closed and my spirit was murky and muddy. She could feel this spirit in the house and thought that because of my losing my granddad it had preyed on me seeing me as being weak.
It took her a lot to clean out all of the negativity from me and it was attacking Lee as well but not as much because he doesn’t spend as much time in the living room as me. She told us to hoover or sweep the floor after she left because that was where she threw the negativity from us which we did and emptied the hoover. We also dusted the corners of the rooms telling the spirit it was not welcome here and to leave, I have ordered a sage stick to cleanse the house and I think I will do it regularly from now on.
We both immediately felt better the house feels like it is ours again, I don’t know who the spirit was or where they came from, but it was not a good spirit at all. It tried to get back into me as quickly as Tracey was cleaning me out! I am so thankful that she came when she did because practicing yoga and meditation is extremely hard to do with any results when your chakras are closed!
This morning we woke early, 7am and got ready because I was being reassessed to see if I could go back to work. I think that people who claim for disability in this country are chosen at random, but it was so scary! I had gone a few weeks ago and they made me wait about 3 hours before saying they couldn’t see me so they squeezed me in today!
The guy who saw me was really nice, I answered everything the best I could and was only in there about half an hour in the end! My anxiety was so bad though I was imagining the worst and so scared, now we just have to wait to see what they say! Hopefully the guy could see I was genuine and that my fatigue and pain stop me being able to work…I do not know how we will afford to live if they try to take my benefits off me!
I came home and had some food and a cup of tea with my Dad and his girlfriend Linda then when they went I went to bed for a nap I was exhausted! I wish the people who send for us knew how scary and stressful this process is, I know they want to catch fakers but if these people just went to work instead genuinely sick people could concentrate on trying to live!
Anyway I am going to attempt to make a roast dinner this afternoon with Lee’s help as always I found a recipe for sweet potatoes roasted in honey and cinnamon so I am really excited to try that! I post picture of my cooking on my Instagram so head over there and comment if you would like me to share some of my recipes here too! xx