Blooming Mindfulness

Trying to live with Chronic Illness

Looking ahead at the end of the year

looking ahead at the end of the year
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Hey everybody,

Sometimes it takes opening up to make things happen as you start looking ahead at the end of the year. I have been working hard to try not to be a people pleaser anymore but after being one for so long it is kind of hard to just change you know? 

However, though I have been working hard to learn to be a psychicover the last two years, it never felt right to me and I was scared to tell my teacher the lovely Linda, in case I upset her or let her down. 

But I really do not enjoy talking about and to people who have passed on. I was doing that because I had been told to do it when I saw a psychic myself. On reflection though, I really feel as if she was setting me on my spiritual journey and did not mean that I force myself to become something I do not want to become. 

So I finally spoke to Linda and the relief I felt was immediate! Honestly it just felt so good to be open and to trust that the friendship we have built is stronger than me just saying I do not feel this is my path.

We talked and now I think I am going to take her Meditation coursein March. The course shows you how to teach meditation and how to lead classes. This is much more me and I am so excited to start! As well as that, when we have the money, I am hoping to learn Reiki and her course looks amazing so I cannot wait!!

It really showed me that this is my path, this is my journey and I should feel confident enough to speak up. I do not know what the future holds for me, but I definitely want to help people heal and to improve themselves and I know the right things will cross my path at the right times if I stay true to myself. 

As for my health? Well it could be better….

My pain in my upper abdomen is still there, even after coming off the meds that reacted with the antibiotics to cause gastritis. I had a blood test, but honestly they just came back to tell me I am anaemic and said nothing about my liver function which was the point of the test! 

I am concerned about my liver, but getting to see our doctor is harder than having tea with the queen so I do not know what to do! I keep worrying my liver is bleeding and that is why I am anaemic, but then I try and remember I have chronic illnesses so maybe it will just take longer for me to recover? 

I feel awful today though, very tired and shaky and urgh and my stomach is swollen and painful and honestly? I just want to go to bed! I had an awful nights sleep and my pain is pretty bad so yeah might take a nap after this…

Namaste xxx

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Ups and downs

Ups and downs

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Hey everybody!

Well December has arrived, and we are all reflecting back on the year, while either dreading or getting excited for Christmas. As we look back we realise we all have times where we struggle but it is rarely all one way or the other, life is just full of ups and downs.

Over the last few days I have been thinking back, and a good way of doing this I realised was to look at my vision board. I have never made one before, but I recently read a book called Moonology where the author teaches you about how to work with the moon and part of it is that you create a vision board monthly of things you want to make happen.

I made this at the last new moon and soon the new moon will be here again and so I wanted to look at my board and see what had happened and what had not. I am not yet pregnant, having sex when you have chronic pain can be very difficult to navigate and with a low blood count and pain as well I just am not interested or if I am the thought of the pain puts me off!

I am not yet connected to my spirit guides in a way that people I know are, which can be frustrating but I am trying to concentrate on the fact that this is my own journey. It can often be tempting to compare or worry but I am me alone and I am working on being confident in my own journey.

My You Tube channel is growing slowly, but it is growing and though I had hoped to reach 500 subscribers by the end of this moon cycle I have to remember how I am not very good at promoting myself. But I am learning and people who have more experience in You Tube have come into my life so I know it will happen I just need to put their advice into practice.

Friendships is something I have really wanted to work on, I always find myself alone, this is mainly because my friends either have children or they work full time or shifts or live far away. But I wanted to change the loneliness so I added friendship to my vision board because I wanted to attract more time with friends into my life. My friend Josh, who did my crystal healing and past life regression, has been coming to see me every couple of weeks and we talk more or less every day. I am taking the time to try and plan fun things to do with Louise and Hannah so that we do not lose our friendships that we have built over so many years. Then me and Lee went out for a mean with our neighbours Jess and Paul last night and that was so much fun it was really nice to see them and just hang out. So that is working for sure though is it the vision board or me? Not sure but either way I am happy about it!

And lastly daily yoga, I used to practice yoga every day and of the four pathways of yoga it is the most accepted and recognised in society, though I cannot do crazy poses I do love to lose myself in yoga! However, with the amount of pain I have been having and lack of energy due to my low blood count I find if I practice yoga I can literally get nothing else done! I almost feel as if I am starting fresh from the start again and it is frustrating when you used to do something daily and you cannot seem to get into a routine with it again! This I am working on though I am not giving up!

So you see, as I look back over the year, it very much resembles the results of my first time using a vision board! I have made great strides in my spiritual life and I have learned so much about my faith! I have started to love and study crystals, and I have managed to have some lovely days out, as well as being blessed to work with companies both on here and on my You Tube channel. But I have also had new symptoms, new diagnoses, money struggles, and set back with plans and things I have wanted to achieve.

All in all however, it has been a good year, I have learned a lot and been happier than I think I ever have in my life! Finally I am me and I am learning what that means and how to be the best me I can every day! Life is always about ups and downs, it is never a straight path, but then if it was we wouldn’t learn as much and wouldn’t it be boring?

Namaste xxx

 

 

 

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When you feel like you’re running on empty

When you feel like you're running on empty

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Hello my butterflies!

My blood count is low, I have been put back on iron tablets and that’s it really! It’s so hard when you feel like you’re running on empty!

Now I have suffered with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME) and fatigue from my other illnesses for years now, but if you remember I wrote a post not too long ago explaining that antibiotics had given me gastritis. So I had to have some blood taken so they could keep an eye on my liver and find out how it has been affected if at all.

A few days ago I got a phone call from my doctor that my blood count was low and they wanted me to take some iron tablets. Now had I not been overwhelmed I would have asked about my liver, but I didn’t think of it until after I had hung up. The blood test had been to check my liver but I found out my blood is low which explains my total lack of energy! Honestly, right now I feel like a rechargable battery on 2% power and trying to make it through the day!

The problem is that now I don’t know if the two are connected, is my liver bleeding? It does still hurt but nowhere near as bad as it was… and it is so hard not to worry when doctors don’t have time to read notes properly and see why you had tests in the first place!

I am being good and taking my meds as prescribed, but man I feel so tired and I was doing so well after having crystal healing as well! It is a little bit frustrating, but honestly after all these years coping with chronic illness I am used to the small steps backwards that come with it!

I did get a good deal from Black Friday though, my favourite online spiritual teacher Charis Melina had a sale on one of her workshops, Healing hands. It is usually $111 but on the Friday she had it as $11!!! I was so shocked and thankful and immediately signed up for it, the workshop was done in the past and it was a video that she sent me. Very intensive 2 hours with I think three meditations and lots of information about how to open the chakras in your hands and do reiki in a very basic way. I have done it twice on myself now and it feels so lovely! I am really excited to learn more so I am talking with my teach Lynda about learning with her.

I have to wait to find out, it will depend on what the DWP say after asking us to look again at my claim, I am hopeful they will raise things back up again which will help so much. But things happen for a reason, if I am meant to be a healer and learn reiki it will happen just have to have faith and be patient…I am quite good at that with chronic illness!

Namaste xxx

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Having past life regression and meeting inspiring people

Having past life regression and meeting inspiring people

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Hey everybody!

Having past life regression and meeting inspiring people has been what this week was all about it was so cool but oh so tiring!! I love going on adventures but sometimes it just feels a bit overwhelming and by the end of the week I would rather be curled up sleeping than doing anything else!

On Monday’s post I talked about having crystal healing for the first time and I can honestly say my pain and fatigue have been more manageable since! The pain and fatigue are still there I would be lying if I said wow it is a miracle I am cured because I still have the same issues and illnesses. However, emotionally I feel stronger and more able to deal with things and also my body doesn’t feel quite so much like I am pulling around a dead body you know?

It is definitely something I would recommend but make sure they are someone who knows what they are doing and is a legitimate and qualified. Do your research, Josh who did mine is trained and insured etc and he did such a wonderful job I will definitely be doing this monthly as part of a self care agreement with myself. I just want to keep on top of things and maintain where I am now if not slowly feel a bit better…it is worth a try right?

Wednesday I had past life regression, this has always interested me and I really got a lot out of it, I am excited to look into my other lives and to learn more. I know this is contraversial but I found it very interesting and I loved the whole process, there will be a video about that on my You Tube channel.

Yesterday I went with my husband for the day, I needed to see my physiotherapist and Lee had to go have some professional photographs taken because he is setting up his own business. This is such an inspiring and wonderful time to watch him going for his dreams that he has talked about for a long time and now I am loving seeing him really go for it! Go follow him on Instagram he is an artist with Epilepsy wanting to help others through art so go check him out. *shameless plug*

So we drove to Burton first because that was where my physiotherapy appointment was, but we drove around a few times and had absolutely no luck getting a parking space so we had to call and cancel the appointment which was so annoying! I love seeing my phsyio about my joints and just to chat she is really lovely so now we have to wait for another appointment grrr!

Then we drove on to Nottingham, which is a couple of hours drive from our home to see the photographer that had been recommended to Lee. The studio was amazing, but up a steep set of steps which I found so hard to get up but when you drive so far you have no choice really do you? I have to admit I love photography and it was so interesting watching a professional work, he even gave me some lighting tips for my you tube as well which I loved so much.

But more than that this was a man who had left his regular job and made a living doing what he loves, which is exactly what Lee wants to do. Paul was so interesting to talk to about it all and it was lovely to talk to someone on the same wavelength which unfortunately is rare as most people just follow the get up work for someone else watch tv go bed repeat mentality. He really gave us some great advice and it encouraged Lee and gave him some motivation and pep to think someone who he didn’t know thought he could do this too!

However, after the shoot and a long conversation we realised we had been there almost 4hours! Poor Lee with his own fatigue problems had to drive us a couple hours to get home and though I tried to chat and keep him company I soon fell asleep which I felt awful about, but when it hits you cannot ignore it can you? We went to bed as soon as we got home and my goodness was I happy to be in bed!

Today I am in a lot of pain and so so tired, I am just hoping I have not undone all the good the crystal healing did last week!

Namaste xxx

 

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I had crystal healing for the first time

I had crystal healing for the first time

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Hey everyone!

It is true I love alternative therapies and finding new ways of treating my chronic illnesses. So I thought I would try Crystal Healing it is something I have only just heard about but my friend does it so no time like the present!

Recently I have had a lot of pain, I had a bout of gastritis and I have a very low blood count at the moment probably because of it. So I have found myself struggling to do things and get things done, which I have to admit is so frustrating at times, but haven’t we all been there before as chronic illness warriors?

And for a while I was not thinking too straight about it, but I had this voice inside me screaming ask Josh for healing! I even pulled the healing card from my oracle deck three days in a row, so I just felt like I needed to listen to my intuition and so I asked for some healing.

To be honest I was not expecting too much, not that I didn’t trust my friend Josh, but more that the nurse in me is still a little sceptical.  But I went I put my full trust into my friend who was trained by the same teacher I go to Lynda.

I felt nervous, but I am so glad I went for it because after a day of recovery after having the therapy I have been feeling really good. My pain has been a lot less than it was before and that is such a lovely relief especially as I am now starting iron tablets to help my blood count. Fatigue or pain I can cope with but I don’t know about you when they team up it is the worst!

I am so thankful that I listened to my inner voice, it is something I have been working on for a while now and I am so proud of myself for listening. This is something that means a lot to me and I want to definitely keep working on it as I move through my spiritual path, but most of all I am extremely thankful that my friend was the one to do the treatment because it helped me to relax. I often struggle with that because of my anxiety but I was able to let him take over and trust that it was going to work out, and it did! I would most definitely recommend crystal healing and reiki to anyone struggling with their health, it isn’t a cure but it helps and isn’t that a wonderful thing?

Below is my video where I go into more detail about the treatment itself and what happened, so I hope you will check that out and maybe subscribe I would love to get to 500 subscribers.

Don’t forget to check out Josh’s site and if you are in the area I hope you will book a treatment

Namaste xxx

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Christmas gift guide for spoonies

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Hey there butterflies!

It can be so hard for the disabled, or housebound people to find nice presents to buy this time of year without facing the crowds. I have decided to put together a gift guide of small online shops that I think are great for finding nice presents and I actually shop there too!

None of these are sponsored in any way but I will state if anything was sent to me for free or anything as I go ok?

Chockabilly: This site is where I got a few accessories this summer which were in a you tube video I love this site they have cute hairclips, pins and handbags as well as real vintage and reproduction clothing. If you have a vintage gal in your life you will want to check out what they have!

Earthlight Crystals: This shop has a wonderful site with beautiful candle holders, crystals and homemade candles. They are on Etsy as well and both shops have some beautiful and unique pieces that would really make somebody’s christmas!

Urban Lune: This site is a gem, their candles are so unique and smell divine I cannot wait to give them out to my family this christmas! They also sell crystals, witchy essentials and tarot cards so you will certainly find something for everyone.

Cocoa and Heart: I was sent one of their gift boxes to review and you can see this video below, their chocolate is so delicious and I am definitely going to be getting some boxes for family! If you want to buy from them you can use the code XMAS18 for 10% off your order until January 31st 2019!

Grizzly Supplies: This shop is amazing it is all hand made real wood shelving for ornaments and especially crystals. I have had one for one of my christmas presents from my husband and omg I cannot wait to have it up and adorned with my favourite pieces! They have so many designs available you will be sure to find something special for someone special.

Pretty Old Jewels Co: If you are looking for one of a kind, vintage jewellery this is the place to go! They have so much choice and all hand picked so you or your loved ones can look fabulous at christmas!

Unbroken Smile: They do apparel for anyone wanting to support or raise awareness for chronic illness I love their designs and how inclusive they are. I always wanted something from there so if you are wondering go look I am sure you will find something wonderful.

Art tales and Magic: The art in this shop is dark and full of magic and fantasy I love the owners who are fellow you tubers and his art speaks for itself!

Mighty Moon: Last but not least, this shop has some beautiful and unique pieces that are all hand made and the girl who runs it is so lovely to chat to I would definitely recommend!

So there you have it, my favourite unique shops online to buy original designs that will leave you wondering what to give as a gift and what to keep for yourself! I hope you enjoyed this gift guide and will let me know if you buy any presents from these shops

Namaste xxx

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Looking back as I look forward

Blooming Mindfulness

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Hey everybody!

First of all I owe you an apology last week was a bit crazy and instead of pushing out a not so good post I thought I would look after myself and have a week off. However, here you are so maybe I should explain that I have been going through a lot of self-discovery recently and because of this I find myself looking back as I look forward.

Last Friday was so exciting I went to the Mind Body and Spirit festival which was held at the NEC in Birmingham. It is not too far from me and I was lucky enough that one of my friends Josh and his Mom fancied having a day out there too. I  used my wheelchair and Josh was kind enough to push me, there was a lot of walking at the event so I couldn’t have done it!

It was also a very overwhelming event, there were of course a lot of crystals there but also everyone was open and the energy really affected me and Josh. Not in a bad way we could just feel a lot even with grounding and protecting before the event which I dread to think how it would have been if we hadn’t! The day went by so fast and to be honest I did not buy much or look closely at much because I felt overwhelmed by it all. That said it was a wonderful day out with one of my close friends and I would go again now I know what to expect.

It has taken me a couple of days to recover of course, but that was good, it gave me time to think and to come to terms with something I only found out last week! I went to see my GP to see if there was a plan after being diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis and Ehlers Danlos syndrome (EDS) in April.

My doctor looked at my records and found the letter from the specialist and that was when she told me that I have always had EDS and in fact it is the fact that I have been overstretching and misusing my joints for so long it is actually the EDS that triggered my Fibromyalgia. I did a You Tube video about how this made me feel and where my head has been at since I got this information:

I think I needed a little time to understand what this news meant and how I was going to process it, I mean it makes sense but still the EDS is such a new diagnosis I wasn’t sure how to take it. Now I cannot help but be thankful for good friends who stand by me and my wonderful husband who is always there for me no matter what, I am so so lucky!!

Moving forward my attention is going to the EDS, on protecting my joints and looking after myself I will be working closely with my physiotherapist to get my body stronger and hopefully by using my joints correctly and doing gentle daily exercise. I do most of that using You Tube and if you ever wonder what sort of things I do it depends on how I am feeling on the day but it is always something from this playlist.

I have also learned how to subtitle my videos and it means creating a video takes much longer but it is so worth it when I now know it is as accessible as I can make them. I will hopefully be working slowly through my older videos to get them subtitles but if anyone would be up for helping please just email me for information as to how I need all the help I can get!

Namaste xxx

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Wait for this all to blow over

Wait for it all to blow over

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Hey everybody!

Welcome back to my blog, and wow this week has been kind of tough  for me both with my mediumship and my health! I really want to get going and keep growing but somehow my body has been asking for me to do nothing and just wait for this all to blow over!

Patience has never been something I have been especially skilled at, and to be honest I would like to be better at it. The problem is when you pray for patience God tends to make you wait for things! However, knowing this I have been praying to have more patience and to accept things will happen in His time, and so he made me wait and grudgingly I went with it!

Week before last I had some antibiotics for an infection, and shortly afterwards I started to get a lot of pain through the middle of my body like I had been impaled or kicked in my back. It has made it so hard to sit or stand for long and has stopped me doing most housework other than light things, and all yoga/physiotherapy!

I thought it was a flare and that was why I focused on that last week, eventually though I couldn’t take it any longer and made an appointment with my GP. I got to see a locum this time, and I am glad I did because she was thorough and so nice. She listened to me which, as other chronic illness warriors will know, is rare and came to the conclusion that after years on medications the antibiotics had been the tipping point.

She explained that they had interfered with another medication I was already on and caused gastritis, which is inflammation of the stomach lining. She took me off one of my meds and sent me to the hospital for blood tests to make sure it hadn’t upset my liver and pancreas as well. This scared me, for a long time I have wanted to lead a more natural life, but somehow medications never seemed an option but now I really wish I could see my regular doctor and see what I need to be on and what I can come off and maybe look into more natural remedies.

This gastritis is so painful and draining, I feel awful so the thought of doing long meditations and working with tarot etc is the last thing I have energy for. It is so frustrating because I really want to progress and have a relationship with my spirit guides, but how can that happen when my pain is so bad I cannot meditate properly? I read so many books and blog posts about connecting with them, but most say it takes time and if you are not connecting there is something holding you back…

Is it my health? I kept thinking it was my fear and lack of self confidence, which it could also be, but I think most of my fellow warriors will understand that it often feels as if our health is always holding us back. I started to get frustrated, I couldn’t even hide it at my psychic class and I worry about this being the thing that stops me finding and achieving my soul’s purpose!

Then I remembered, I had prayed for patience…we are told in the bible and in most sacred texts I have read, that patience is a big part of faith. Everything happens in God’s time, He has a plan for my life and maybe I need to stop trying to get ahead and instead trust that things will happen when they are supposed to.

I guess I just need to make a cup of tea and wait for this all to blow over and for things to fall into place when they are meant to!

Namaste xxx

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Finding my place in the world

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Hey everybody!

So as you probably know by now, I am currently on a spiritual journey and I am excited that I am starting to feel more confident to be sharing more about that both here and on my You Tube channel. It feels so nice to be exploring the world and finding out that I do still have a purpose and a reason to be in the world. I feel like I fell out of society when I became chronically sick, however, now I have been studying about my soul’s purpose I am trying to find my place in the world again.

I am loving the courses I have done so far with my teacher Lynda Bourne, I have done the Working with spirit guides and angels and I am currently doing the Psychic mediumship level 1 course. I love learning how to connect and discovering more about how things work and how to do them safely. However, so far it has not set my heart alight and I still struggle to connect at all with my spirit guides which is a big part of it.

However, I have been studying and working hard on my own, listening to podcasts and reading so much and it feels like I am on the verge of something…

Now what that is I just do not know but I am working hard to improve my confidence and self esteem two things that I never had much of but that really took a bashing when I got sick. Along with that I have been doing a lot of soul searching and looking to my childhood to try and find out what I should be doing. This is because when you are young society has not had time to put it’s constraints on you and the things you loved then can give clues.

So when I was a kid I would spend a lot of time playing in our back garden and collecting stones and I had a few crystals, looking back can really help you to see how to move forward. Now I am an adult and I am most happy in the countryside enjoying nature, I collect crystals and yes I still pick up stones everywhere! So maybe my future has something to do with nature and crystals? Another clue can come from what other people come to you for or what they compliment you about, now my whole life I have had people come to me for advice and to talk. I am very logical and have been told I am really good friend so maybe helping people find their way?

Now of course, my blog and You Tube could be a part of that I do try to give advice and tips on here and in my videos, and perhaps stones and crystals can be a way to help others through healing? Then again I am also a huge fan of meditation and Lynda teaches meditation as well as crystal healing, so you can see how there is a hazy picture coming into view but for right now it is confusing.

I hope you will stick around as I continue on my journey and as always I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below

Namaste xxx

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When a pain flare is overwhelming

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Hey everybody!

My pain is flaring at the moment and I will be honest it is kind of worrying and overwhelming! I am trying to keep my chin up and keep going, I think sometimes pain and fatigue can stop us in our tracks then we find our ways of coping; So when we flare it can be difficult to find our feet again

because we are already running at a much lower pace than most people could cope with!

 

What is a flare?

A flare is when your symptoms get worse but it is because of something you know and you are sure it will get better, for example after going out for the day or seasonal weather changes.

“A flare is a transient worsening in severity of a disease or condition that eventually subsides or lessens. For example, in many arthritis conditions the joints can flare with worsening of stiffness, pain, and swelling”medicinenet.com

How do I cope?

I would usually go to see my General Practitioner, but to be honest she is not very compassionate and I do not think she feels Fibromyalgia is a real illness. She also has said many times she cannot give me anything else for pain and to try paracetamol, I did have a little hope when I was referred to a pain clinic…until they wrote refusing to see me because there was nothing they could do!

So the question I ask myself at times like this is how am I going to cope? I know I cannot turn to my doctor and though I am under a long term physiotherapist, I do not have anyone overseeing my whole condition who is a hospital team or anything like that. I think that is why it feels overwhelming because I have nobody to call and ask for help, but if you have been reading my blog posts for a while, you will know I am always looking to be as positive as I can.

Here is the things that are getting me through this flare:

CBD Balm – This stuff is brilliant for putting on the exact area of pain, and right now I am using it a lot on the back of my neck where my spine is very painful.

Heating Pad – Every chronic illness warrior knows that if you have a good heating pad you can use it to help pain so much. You can pick them up quite cheaply and they are brilliant especially for nerve pain which I am using one for right now!

Crystals – These days I can often be found with a crystal on my person and if I am in pain I will hold one against the area that hurts. Different crystals work for different conditions so check out that link for more information.

CBD oil – I have used this before but was priced out of using it for a while, however now my pain has flared I have turned back to it and I take it just at night to reduce my pain and to help my sleep. I also use the crystal Howlite at night to help me sleep and its soothing to hold so I would recommend that.

I would love to hear what helps you at times like this and also I do hope this helps you a little even if it is knowing you aren’t alone while the seasons change.

Namaste xxx

 

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Hello

Hi there I am Beverley, I am trying to find a way to live with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, ankylosing spondylitis, Depression and General Anxiety Disorder. I live with my Husband Lee and our dog Gizmo and our budgies Rey and Finn. I live in England and I am learning to be a psychic and I am on a spiritual journey I am excited to share with you. I look forward to getting to know you better, I will be updating Mondays and Fridays xx

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Site Name: Blooming Mindfulness
Online Since: July 2016
Webmistress: Beverley
Contact Us: email
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Layout Info: Version 1
Designed By: Beverley

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