So as you probably know by now, I am currently on a spiritual journey and I am excited that I am starting to feel more confident to be sharing more about that both here and on my You Tube channel. It feels so nice to be exploring the world and finding out that I do still have a purpose and a reason to be in the world. I feel like I fell out of society when I became chronically sick, however, now I have been studying about my soul’s purpose I am trying to find my place in the world again.
I am loving the courses I have done so far with my teacher Lynda Bourne, I have done the Working with spirit guides and angels and I am currently doing the Psychic mediumship level 1 course. I love learning how to connect and discovering more about how things work and how to do them safely. However, so far it has not set my heart alight and I still struggle to connect at all with my spirit guides which is a big part of it.
However, I have been studying and working hard on my own, listening to podcasts and reading so much and it feels like I am on the verge of something…
Now what that is I just do not know but I am working hard to improve my confidence and self esteem two things that I never had much of but that really took a bashing when I got sick. Along with that I have been doing a lot of soul searching and looking to my childhood to try and find out what I should be doing. This is because when you are young society has not had time to put it’s constraints on you and the things you loved then can give clues.
So when I was a kid I would spend a lot of time playing in our back garden and collecting stones and I had a few crystals, looking back can really help you to see how to move forward. Now I am an adult and I am most happy in the countryside enjoying nature, I collect crystals and yes I still pick up stones everywhere! So maybe my future has something to do with nature and crystals? Another clue can come from what other people come to you for or what they compliment you about, now my whole life I have had people come to me for advice and to talk. I am very logical and have been told I am really good friend so maybe helping people find their way?
Now of course, my blog and You Tube could be a part of that I do try to give advice and tips on here and in my videos, and perhaps stones and crystals can be a way to help others through healing? Then again I am also a huge fan of meditation and Lynda teaches meditation as well as crystal healing, so you can see how there is a hazy picture coming into view but for right now it is confusing.
I hope you will stick around as I continue on my journey and as always I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below
My pain is flaring at the moment and I will be honest it is kind of worrying and overwhelming! I am trying to keep my chin up and keep going, I think sometimes pain and fatigue can stop us in our tracks then we find our ways of coping; So when we flare it can be difficult to find our feet again
because we are already running at a much lower pace than most people could cope with!
What is a flare?
A flare is when your symptoms get worse but it is because of something you know and you are sure it will get better, for example after going out for the day or seasonal weather changes.
“A flare is a transient worsening in severity of a disease or condition that eventually subsides or lessens. For example, in many arthritis conditions the joints can flare with worsening of stiffness, pain, and swelling” – medicinenet.com
How do I cope?
I would usually go to see my General Practitioner, but to be honest she is not very compassionate and I do not think she feels Fibromyalgia is a real illness. She also has said many times she cannot give me anything else for pain and to try paracetamol, I did have a little hope when I was referred to a pain clinic…until they wrote refusing to see me because there was nothing they could do!
So the question I ask myself at times like this is how am I going to cope? I know I cannot turn to my doctor and though I am under a long term physiotherapist, I do not have anyone overseeing my whole condition who is a hospital team or anything like that. I think that is why it feels overwhelming because I have nobody to call and ask for help, but if you have been reading my blog posts for a while, you will know I am always looking to be as positive as I can.
Here is the things that are getting me through this flare:
CBD Balm – This stuff is brilliant for putting on the exact area of pain, and right now I am using it a lot on the back of my neck where my spine is very painful.
Heating Pad – Every chronic illness warrior knows that if you have a good heating pad you can use it to help pain so much. You can pick them up quite cheaply and they are brilliant especially for nerve pain which I am using one for right now!
Crystals – These days I can often be found with a crystal on my person and if I am in pain I will hold one against the area that hurts. Different crystals work for different conditions so check out that link for more information.
CBD oil – I have used this before but was priced out of using it for a while, however now my pain has flared I have turned back to it and I take it just at night to reduce my pain and to help my sleep. I also use the crystal Howlite at night to help me sleep and its soothing to hold so I would recommend that.
I would love to hear what helps you at times like this and also I do hope this helps you a little even if it is knowing you aren’t alone while the seasons change.
If you’ve started to notice that there are certain things or substances you turn to when you feel down or stressed, you could be starting to develop a dependence. And many dependences become addictions. So if you’re in that cycle right now, you need to think about how you can break out of it for the sake of your own general health and wellbeing. Here are some steps that should help you with starting to do that.
Be Honest About the Situation
First of all, you need to be able to face up to what you’re experiencing, even if that might be difficult. No one likes to admit that they’re experience dependence because too many people still see it as a form of weakness. Instead, it’s a health problem and should be treated as such. So be honest about your situation because that always has to be the first step taken.
Talk to Those Close to You
It can be difficult to openly speak about these problems with your family or close friends, but it’s something that you should really try to do. When you open up to people, you’ll be surprised by how much they can help you and how understanding they can be. Don’t just assume that they’ll judge your situation because that’s most likely not the case at all.
If you know what triggers you and sends you towards the stuff that you’ve become dependent on or addicted to, you can start to work on that source of the problem. For some people, it can be stressful situations or things not going how they planned. But it’s different for everyone, so give some thought to what has got you in this situation to begin with. It’ll really help you overcome it going forward.
Seek Professional Help and Guidance
If you think that you’re not going to be able to break out of this cycle without professional help and support, you should seek that help out as soon as possible. Places like https://www.rehabclinic.org.uk/ might be able to help you when you’re looking to break out of an unhelpful cycle or are experiencing addiction. The help you get will soon put you on a more positive path forward.
Create a Plan
Having a plan of action in place can really help when you’re looking to break out of your current situation. A haphazard approach is always a risky one because you’ll have no real structure to what you’re trying to do. Think about how the right plan can help you to overcome challenges and keep you on the right path no matter what else might happpen.
It can be very difficult to face up to and admit these kinds of problems, so don’t be ashamed of struggling to begin with. However, once you have the right help and you have a plan to get through the other side of this, you will start moving in a more positive direction which is just what you need.
Winter is coming fast and like in the spring I like to take stock and look ahead. Making plans and changing things up, and that is happening on this blog as well. If you have been following me on Instagram recently, you will know that I have been really getting into my psychic classes, and especially I have become interested in Crystals and living more in tune with the Earth.
Now I started this blog to talk about chronic illness and how my faith helps me through, but my faith has changed and so has my outlook. I was a Christian-Buddhist then but now I see man made religion as holding me back from really getting close to God. I love that he provides every kind of plant to heal us, and crystals and rocks that contain energy to help us as well. If we live our lives around the moon then we are more in line…
Now I do not want you thinking I am no longer a Christian because I am, I still read my bible daily, and my faith is still the cornerstone of how I live my life. However, I want to talk more about my beliefs and my psychic class and the things I am learning on here, so from now on I shall be talking about that on a Monday and on a Friday you will get a round up of how my chronic illnesses are going and how my life is going.
Here we go:
So this week I started a book called Moonology the author is an astrologist and she believes that linking up your plans and hopes every month with the moon will help them to happen. Now I am not a Wiccan, I do not have alters or do spells because I believe in the power of prayer. I am new to manifesting myself, but I know that by trusting in God and setting intentions then we can make anything happen. We know that ancient civilisations trusted in the stars and moon, and I think they were right, I think God provided so many simple ways for us to make our prayers more powerful.
I am really enjoying reading and learning about the power of the moon’s influence over prayer and I am going to start using it in my monthly plans from now on. I really would love to see my blog and my You Tube Channel do well and start to grow so I can help others and as the bible says:
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. – Matthew 5:14-16
I have also been studying some crystals and really starting to learn about the ways that crystals can help those of us with chronic illness, for example Howlite is a really calming stone. It helps reduce anxiety and stress, it is great for insomnia and having it by your bedside will help you to sleep, it did for me! It can also clear your mind and so it helps with both meditation and mindfulness and has really become a favourite stone of mine. I am learning about how they can help different illnesses and I even had a bracelet made for my husband by Mighty Moon on Etsy with crystals meant to help with epilepsy.
Now I am not suggesting that they are a cure, but if you use them alongside other forms of care what is the harm? Do you use anything like this? What crystals or books do you recommend for someone wanting to get into more natural remedies and to support their body without so many chemicals that cost so much money!
My psychic week:
So I have been meditating a lot, reading up on so much and spending a lot of time trying to find my way and getting close to my intuition. I have been getting hazy images in my third eye of things changed round in the room while meditating, and after speaking to my psychic teacher I found this was perfectly normal. It was simply my Spirit Guides training and teaching my spiritual mind to learn logic. This was so interesting to me and I find the more I meditate and learn the more I open up to angels and spirit guides.
I have also been having times when I can hijack my dreams and use them, while asleep, to contact people I know who have passed!! I am unsure right now how this will play out, but it has happened three times and I am quite excited to learn more. Right now it kind of feels like the world is opening up to me and I am learning from much older civilisations how to get closer to God and how to open up to this Earth that God gave us.
I hope you will enjoy this change on the blog, and that you will stick with me while I find my way with updating twice and talking about my spiritual side, please let me know down below in the comments if you have any ideas or thoughts.
This post includes some affiliate links, but it is not sponsored.
Well I have been put on antibiotics this week, hence no post on Monday just gone, and I feel awful on them! I am literally sleeping most of the time and to be honest resting leads to guilt, and I have written about this before but the struggle is real!
My husband is not feeling too well right now either so I want to be looking after him, instead I am staying in bed all morning, needing baths to help my pain, and not managing to do my physiotherapy or yoga or any housework! I am literally a lump on the sofa and it is not a nice feeling at all!
Now I try my best to be positive, I make sure I have my God time every morning, I meditate and I practice mindfulness to try and help my chronic illnesses. However, there are times especially when I am struggling with my pain and fatigue, when I cannot control my thoughts and things can turn negative. This is when I need to dig deep and try to use all the tools in my toolbelt to try and keep my vibration and spirits up.
Now I don’t know about you, but I have a few things that help me and hopefully they can help you sometimes and I would love it if you would hop into the comments and share some of yours:
- Meditation: This is a big one for me, I use the Insight timer on my iPad to find guided meditations focused on self love, raising my vibrations and opening to the Solar Plexus Chakra which is connected to personal identity, self will and how much confidence you have. The Solar Plexus is very much related to energy levels, problems with digestion and metabolism so I am working very hard to connect and open this chakra up at the moment.
- Alternative Therapies: There are a wide range of crystals that can help with energy levels, I recently bought a Bloodstone and I am working with this just holding it and meditating with it to see if it helps. There are a lot of things like essentials oils and crystals that have been used for thousands of years as medicine and I think it is important to investigate and try things to see what works.
- Diet: No I am not talking about losing weight, but just paying attention to what you eat when you have chronic illnesses. There are so many diets recommended for different illnesses and it is important to check out bloggers who are living with those illnesses to find recommendations that actually work. I am trying to stay away from fatty and processed foods and to get back to making things from scratch.
- Listen to your body: The main thing I would say is to be in the moment and listen to your body, it will generally tell you when it needs to rest or eat or when there is pain and it is when we ignore these signals when a flare comes!
- Take a bath: I use some lovely Magnesium salts and a bath bomb, magnesium salts can help pain and resting in warm water if possible for you can really help with aching muscles as well as nerve pain. I sometimes bathe in the evening then go to bed and oh my goodness do I get a good sleep!
- Heating Pad: these are a staple of any chronic illness warrior honestly a heating pad can make all the difference, I use mine a lot in the evening for my back pain and they are a must if you are dealing with long term pain.
Now I am currently watching one of my favourite podcasts on you tube and typing this out, but I cannot stop yawning and honestly I just want to be in bed! However, if I had not done this post I would have felt like I had achieved nothing today and that is such a difficult emotion to deal with. The best advice I can give is to remember that as a chronic illness warrior, we are dealing with so much just to keep going and because of this it is so hard to deal with societies expectations anyway so we need to give ourselves a break. I hadn’t really realised I was feeling guilty until today and I know I have dealt with this before, so I know I need to just let that go and try to remember my worth is more than what I do.
I hope you will post the things that help you down below in the comments and I am hopeful that my experiences this week can help you.
So if you have been reading my blog for a while, you will know that I was diagnosed with two illnesses Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS) and ankylosing spondylitis. Looking back some diagnosis just make sense and for me that is EDS, when I started to research it all just seemed to fall into place.
See back when I was a kid I had a lot of problems with my legs, they were constantly painful and the one time I saw a doctor I was told it was just ‘growing pains’. However, the fact that I was late at walking, and that my legs were so stiff that I couldn’t straighten them when sitting surely someone should have put the pieces together?
Thing is that though it answers some of the questions I have had my whole life it doesn’t change the fact that I live in the now. I am trying so hard to live in the now and to bring more mindfulness into my life, looking backwards just brings negative thinking and depression. I have to try and hold myself back from that and try to work with what I have.
Right now I am doing all I can to keep my body as healthy as it can possibly be and to do that I have listened to my physiotherapist. Now I love my mother, but she never does her exercises, me on the other hand I try to fit them in as often as I can because I am determined to keep on my feet and as mobile and as well as I can for as long as I can.
Now I am quite lucky because I have always done done form of exercise, though it is frustrating that my body is unable to keep working at the pace I wish it would. I miss doing Yoga with Adriene routines, I liked having goals of particular poses I wanted to work towards however last year it became easy to see that I had to step back. I was having my joints dislocate and having a lot of neck pain which was only made worse by doing the plough!
After talking to my yoga teacher I dropped out of yoga class which was such a hard decision because it got me out of the house and gave me some social time that I very much longed for. Thankfully soon after I discovered Sleepy Santosha and I have been keeping on top of my body’s flexability and maintaining a level of fitness that I am thankful for and so is my physio! Right now that and my physiotherapy exercises is more than enough for me and if I try to do much more now I find the small amount of housework I can manage is totally out of my reach!
I do think reflecting back on things is important and there are times when it is very much needed in life, but I also believe that living in the now is all we really can do. It is hard to admit that I could have looked after my body better if I had known what I was suffering with back then, but I am proud of where I am in life now and the person I have become…surely that is more important?
Well now I was going to be good, I was trying to be good but then things happened…I stopped eating well…I started trying to do a yoga challenge…and my pain flared! When will I ever learn?
It is so hard because I know what I should do, I know it and I have written about it many times so why is it that I fell off the wagon? Me and my husband were left with fatigue and pain after having a take away pizza, and our diets had run into problems we were not eating the things we knew were good for us.
Everyone has good intentions, we all try our best to eat well especially us spoonies who suffer with increased symptoms if we don’t cut certain things out and add other things. We know it and logically we do our best but then all it takes is one night out where you have a pudding and you start to crave the things that are not good for you.
What makes it worse is that eating badly makes you feel worse, and the worse you feel the less you want to stand a cook! I do have a perching stool which I actually got years ago from occupational therapy, but still if the choice is that or ordering in you know what will win and I know it will be bad!
At least the weather has changed though so we can eat more slow cooker recipes which is such a help, and I love that I can just throw everything in when I feel ok in the morning and by dinnertime it is cooked. Yes I do love stews and soups and things like that they are cheap and easy to make and really nutritious because you can throw a ton of frozen vegetables in.
Of course, my diet isn’t all that fell off the wagon… Yoga with Adriene is how I used to do yoga a year or more ago, every day pushing my body and feeling great afterwards. However, with increased pain and the instability of my joints my physiotherapist said I was only to do low impact stuff. I found Sleepy Santosha and was doing well with her spoonie friendly routines and it was keeping me supple without pushing my body too far.
I was doing well until Adriene came out with a new 14 day yoga challenge to get everyone doing yoga, and I thought it won’t be hard she said it is for anyone! I know I know…by day 4 I was in so much pain and so fatigued I ended up having painsomnia and feeling dreadful! These things together and my body was screaming for me to stop.
The moral of this story is, if you know that doing the wrong thing is going to send you into a flare, be good just be good!
Death is something that will touch each and every one of our lives. It pays to develop a healthy relationship to this sad occurrence before it happens, but also give yourself the space necessary to grieve and feel what you need to feel appropriate. When someone dies, it can be hard to force yourself into action. Often, many of us want to retreat to our families. But, in order to show respect to the person we’ve lost, and to try to seek closure on the affair, it’s best for us to respond to tasks, and to be useful despite the sad feelings in our heart.
The main efforts to help soothe your emotional wounds following a death are difficult to enact, but with the right people around you and the willingness to act in an admirable manner, you can do amazing things:
It can be quite stressful to begin thinking about the funeral the moment a relative or friend dies, but unfortunately the longer you leave it, the longer you will wait before that person is laid to rest. Follow their final will and testament to the T. You can achieve this with the help of local funeral directors and estate managers. Planning the funeral respectfully can happen through this lens. Not many people are experts in funeral planning unless they have been through the process previously, so it’s important to ask questions, to check your options, and to ask for help.
There’s no reason to do this all yourself. This task can help you and your family begin to come together instead of withdrawing from the social bond temporarily. If your relative hasn’t stipulated how they would like to be treated after death, consider putting it to a vote for the person’s nearest and dearest, burial or cremation. Sometimes, the choice is obvious due to religious beliefs etc. If you follow how you believe the person would have wanted proceedings to happen, and you express utmost respect, you are doing a good job.
This is not an easy time for celebrations. But you should find a way to. While the death is tragic and the loss will be felt on a profound level, taking the time to remember the good about a person can help you feel comforted, and that will pay loving respect to their memory. Sharing beautiful experiences you shared with that person with the family, or perhaps talking about silly moments you shared together, or moments you both smiled together can help everyone feel a small moment of levity. It can be hard to consider at the time, but someone dying in no way reduces the positive impact they had on the world, even if that impact was in small, humble but sincere ways.
Taking the good allows you to begin rememberance proceedings, and begin to seek closure after time. With the promise to never forget the memory of this relative, you can begin to seek your healing process with the family together, being there for one another, and slowly coming back to your own lives.
Following death, emotions can feel chaotic. With these two simple activities, you can begin to seek closure.
There really are times when the universe teaches us lessons in unexpected ways, like when fatigue reminds me to slow down. For my whole life I have been focused on achieving my dreams and I always have lists and goals of things I want to do every day. I use an app called Planner Pro it is on my iPad and every day I list about 4-5 things I want to get done that day.
I always have my time with God which is when I meditate and pray and I always do some form of yoga and my physiotherapy exercises. On top of that I try to do a little housework and then some work online if I have enough energy and my body allows me!
And there is the problem, my body never lets me and for a while I have been pressuring myself to get everything done by a certain time. It is like I want to prove to myself that I can still be of use to society and it is really stupid when I hear it in my head now as I write this! The problem is society judges everyone by the job they do!
This recently came to the front of things when Geoffrey Owens, who was a star of The Cosby Show, was photographed bagging groceries in a supermarket. Pictures were published of him with the hope of shaming him, which they did for a little while. But then people started talking about how someone working to help their family is a good thing and he even said that whatever job a person has shouldn’t matter because every job has it’s worth and he is right…but what if you are too sick to work?
I don’t know, it kind of feels like we fall through the gaps of society and that really does not sit right with me. I was pressuring myself to be included and to be taken seriously, I mean I always wanted to be a housewife and have a child but I am not a mother and most days I cannot manage to do housework so what am I? Do I matter? These are the worries that kept me pushing myself to get all my jobs done by 5pm and not resting enough.
So the last few days my pain and fatigue have been through the roof and resting, and I have had to slow down but the thing is slowing down aligns much more with my beliefs than trying to fit in with society. I love yoga, mindfulness and taking time to appreciate the moment and what my body and soul needs. So strangely, this fatigue flare has made me slow down and take a breath and change the way I think, when I realised I was doing things wrong I was so thankful to the universe for showing me my mistakes. I needed that reminder, have you ever had something like this happen?
How are you all this week? I do hope that the change in weather is not affecting you all too much? I wish I could say the same, but my fatigue has flared and because of it I have become addicted to the TV show Gilmore Girls which I didn’t watch the first time and must be mad because it is wonderful!
You know it is kinda strange but fatigue is something that I have had for so long I have my ways to battle it and work around it. I have patterns and routines that I have developed over time so that I can usually keep up with life in my own way around the fatigue. However, this last week it flared and I spent many days sleeping in and getting out of bed after 4pm.
This had left me feeling lost and well frankly bored! I sometimes think that when there is a full wishlist of things ready to watch it can be almost impossible to choose something. I think I must have started and stopped a few different shows and movies before changing my mind. So when Netflix, who knows me better than my own mother, suggested Gilmore Girls I thought hey why not?
Now I am a huge fan of 1990’s TV shows so once I started watching I became addicted, it really helped me to not get depressed. Usually when I have times like this, I lay there feeling awful because I cannot keep up on my housework and I start feeling like a failure. But, with this whole new show and all the episodes to watch I didn’t have those thoughts at all.
I guess what I am saying is, it is sometimes the strangest things that can get us through the tough times that chronic illness serves us from time to time. So here I am already on season 5 and loving the music and the fashion and feeling very sentimental, TV shows were just so much more fluffy and light then you know? I mean I do love the influx of Sci-fi and horror shows that seem to be constantly on TV now, but when I am feeling more fatigue than usual I really want something that will give me the warm and fuzzies and I definitely recommend Gilmore Girls.
So what TV shows do you watch when fatigue hits and you need the fuzzies?