Mental Health

If I woke up well tomorrow

This week I thought I would do something different and talk about what I’d do if I woke up well tomorrow…

If I woke up well tomorrow
Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash
Image description: a white woman with dark hair wearing a dark top, is looking really happy in a field surrounded with orange flowers

I try not to think about this, to ponder on how I would change my life if I was well and able to do normal things. Chronic illness so defines your life and how it will go, and I became sick so early on in my twenties.

That is the point in your life when things start to get going and you find a job and get some independence. For me, it was losing my nursing career, moving back to my parents and having my mom be my carer. I went from job to job trying to find something I could do and lost each job because I couldn’t do them.

Now, in my 40s, I blog, and I have my YouTube channel, but I spend most of my time at home just trying to get through the day. I vlog about my life on my Patreon account, but other than that I do a little housework, I help mom when she needs it… life is small and manageable.

But what if I woke up well tomorrow??

I think my first order of business would be to find a job or maybe even start my own business. I would love to maybe get some kind of qualification to be a counsellor because I always loved working in the mental health part of nursing.

One area I loved was working with people who were coming to the end of their life, so I might look into hospice care or something like that. I don’t think I would want to go back to nursing or to get my qualifications back, but I would want to help people.

I would love to work in a shop again, I really enjoyed helping people find what they wanted. Being in a shop was fun I worked in a video rental shop and also a Boots the chemist, so I have done it before. So, on top of counselling I could volunteer at a charity shop which would be so cool to do!

Things could be more interesting on my YouTube channel and with the ability to walk and get fit I might start going for long walks in the countryside and share them on my channel. There are so many people who cannot get out so I would love to get into that and maybe even learn how to forage.

I used to love long walks and that was my main exercise other than going clubbing on my days off with friends. It would be nice to share my journey to get fit as well because I used to love working out and doing yoga and now I can only do very small amounts of exercise so that would be a focus.

I would still blog here, but it would probably become more focused on mindfulness and mental health than chronic illness…which is how it started out (hence the name). I love blogging because I feel like I can help people which feels so good to do and was always a passion of mine.

I might even learn to drive, without an anxiety disorder to hold me back and with the ability to feel my feet and hands I could actually use the pedals and be safer behind the wheel. Having a job and a car I would be a lot more independent and again no anxiety I would be able to leave the house alone whenever I wanted.

Speaking of the house would be decorated as I wouldn’t have to work around my pain and fatigue. I would also have a much tidier and cleaner home as I would be able to do more than ten minutes in a day.

Chronic pain and fatigue have hindered me so much in life, and I am not saying I am not happy in my life as it is. But being constantly in pain and having to control everything into small chunks of time and planning rest times limits a person’s life.

The idea that I am labelled as lazy, along with everyone else who is disabled, is laughable when I think of my life before I got sick! And now as I imagine my life if I woke up well tomorrow you can see the things I would love to do, what would you do?

Thank you xx

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