I woke up after not a great nights sleep and was tired, I knew I was tired but I was excited because I was going to Amanda’s treatment room to have a pedicure and nail art done (Picture is on my instagram). I always love going to see her because she has become a very treasured friend and one of the few people I can be myself with and chat to. I love having stuff done there because I feel relaxed and I get out of the house, which is rare, to just have some girlie time.
After the talking and the anxiety of going out the house etc I got home feeling like I had been hit by a truck and so so tired! My hubby’s parents were round and I was excited to tell them I have signed up for a monthly crafting subscription box so I can use my new sewing machine and get better at sewing!
However by the time I had spoken to them and had a cup of tea I fell asleep sitting up on the sofa and missed them leaving! I felt awful because I like seeing them, thankfully they understand I cannot help my illness and passed on their goodbyes before leaving. Hubby then made me go to bed, he wanted to watch some TV so decided to get into bed to watch it with our dog Gizmo cuddled up between us. It was so nice and I was soon curled up and fast asleep.
When I woke up it was dark and the day was gone, I felt a bit useless. I still had this blog post to make and I had not drunk my daily water amount I try to drink 2 litres a day…all in all I just felt awful!
It was only when I came to write this post that I realised I am not well, I have an illness and if I was my own best friend I would be so much kinder to myself. I would tell myself that I did not sleep well last night, and that going out this morning must have affected me much more than I had realised on top of that. I have Buddhism and mindfulness to thank for this because they teach that we have to be careful the thoughts we have, in the past I would have let my negative thoughts consume me I probably would have not even opened my laptop and I would have let myself down because of it.
“I needed a nap today, I was not well and my body needed to rest and Beverley that is ok. I am proud of you for not giving in and still doing this blog post, and for the litre bottle of water you are trying to drink.”
If I was my best friend that is what I would say to her so I am going to try and be kinder to myself and not compare myself to able bodied people who can do so much more than me without naps.