I think I can safely say you are not alone in doing these things, I am as guilty of it as you are. But disabled community stop doing this in 2021 please? Can we move forward with a collective agreement to try and not do these things?
I think we are all guilty of feeling like a burden, of feeling guilt or worrying too much what other people think. It is not something we do alone, but these things are what we all do as a community. I hate apologising when I have done nothing wrong, or not using my walking stick because I feel embarrassed or whatever. So for a New Year Resolution this year can we stop doing these things as a community?
Disabled community stop doing this in 2021
- Comparing ourselves to healthy people – Comparing ourselves to others really get’s us nowhere. Too often as people with chronic illnesses and disabilities, we can put ourselves down by doing this. We have to work so hard to do half the things well people do, we have constant pain or fatigue to deal with so why are we comparing ourselves? I think it is about time we look at ourselves as doing well for getting out of bed and doing our best each day. Let’s stop comparing and instead look at how we can do our best every day.
- Trying to do too much – I am definitely guilty of this and I am sure if you nodded to number one you do this too! But doing too much is simply going to make our illnesses flare, so why do we do it? I wish I had a handy research paper to link to, but honestly I think it’s the human condition. I watched a video by one of my favourite You Tubers the Eyre Effect and she spoke of having too much pressure and she is well! But if we are aware of it, then maybe we can change it? I hope so.
- Not using mobility aids because of other people – I think this is a big one but it needs to stop. Mobility aids keep us safe from falls, they keep us moving and independent and they can lower our pain. So why do we care what strangers will think or family will say? It is about time we celebrate our mobility aids instead of being ashamed of them!
- Feeling guilty for hobbies – I often worry what people think of me having a YouTube channel and this blog. I mean I cannot help but think people assume if I can do them I must be able to work. Or maybe when they hear I want to learn to sew they equate that to skiving off work. But the truth is these hobbies take me a long time, one video has to be spread out over three days only doing about an hour a day! That is not the same as work, I am not pretending to be sick. I am not lying because I want to be at home, and nor are you! So be proud of your hobbies because they keep your mind active and are so good for your mental health.
- Not pacing – Pacing is not an easy skill to have, especially when you see the other points and realise we are not being kind to ourselves. But pacing is a great way to break down a task into smaller chunks and to organise rest time. It is so important to do and can prevent flares which none of us want do we? So why not take some time to plan your week and the jobs you need to do and be kinder to yourself.
- Apologising when it isn’t our fault – Ooh this is a big one! So many of us do this, ask someone to help you, say please and thank you…and then apologise for asking! This is because we often feel like a burden, we are made to feel this way by society. Having to be tested and beg for help from the government and then watched like we are pretending or faking. But this ableism is a societal issue and will not stop until we realise we are worth the support and are not a burden.
So are you sick of doing these things too? Don’t you think it’s time? Disabled community stop doing this in 2021, let’s make it our New Year Resolution!