Working through frustration has become something I am used to, something I battle with every day. Chronic fatigue holds me back from so much, recording my YouTube videos, even writing this blog so I thought we should chat about it.
I have suffered with ME/CFS for so long it’s hard to remember how it feels to have a day without feeling bone tired. Sometimes it eases off me and I have a couple of days when I feel productive, I wake early and get things done. I always forget to pace on those days and I soon realise why I should still move at the same pace as on not so good days.
Recently my fatigue has flared again and I have spent a lot of my time in my pjs snuggled up on the sofa with my dogs. My brain fuzzy and my body tired so that I cannot move for hours meaning jobs that I had planned got pushed back or not done at all. It is at these times I feel frustrated the most, when plans and routines have to change.
I am someone who loves to organise, I have set jobs on set days, those jobs are done at set times, I have lists. Everything is measured out over the week so that I do not get too tired and unable to get things done. But when I am feeling fatigue and have to move things it makes my generalised anxiety flare which adds on to it.
Frustration makes everything worse and it certainly doesn’t help when I am trying to rest, I bet it doesn’t help you either. So here are a couple of tips that will hopefully help you:
Working through frustration:
- Mindfulness – you knew it was coming! But yes, keep your mind in the moment, letting your thoughts wander to what you ‘should’ be doing is only going to make your frustration worse.
- Be kind – remember anyone feeling ill will rest and that is ok, so give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself and lie down if needed.
- Accept – you need to accept your situation, your illnesses and realise that they are beyond your control. You are not being lazy you are looking after yourself and that is so important.
- Self love – self care is self love, it’s taking a chance to sleep, to watch that tv show you have not had time for, it’s a chance to be kind to yourself.
- Feel it and let it go – mindfulness isn’t about ignoring your feelings, it’s about listening to what that feeling is trying to say. You are perfectly justified in being frustrated, but not to stew in that feeling. Instead let it go, relax and remember that you are more than the tasks you can get ticked off every day.
Mostly, I think our feelings of frustration at our fatigue holding us back is part of a bigger issue that is society wide. We are taught that we are only worth what we contribute, what we earn and how much we have. But you are so much more than that, part of working through frustration is about unlearning those societal standards that cannot realistically still apply to us.
Thank you xx