There are times when my illnesses really slow me down and when I say it is frustrating that is a HUGE understatement! So, let’s have a chat about it.
I have a YouTube channel and on it I do videos about witchcraft on a Monday and vintage fashion on a Friday with occasional chronic illness/disability videos. I’m so proud of my content and I put in so much work, but I don’t grow as fast as I would like. It’s taken me 6years to get over 1000 subscribers and sometimes I feel a little demoralised by that.
However, I’m so proud of my content and I work so hard, so please go subscribe it’s free to do and give me a watch!
After a lot of research, I realised in order to grow my channel I need to be consistent with my uploads, but that is so hard when my depression, chronic fatigue and migraines make it so hard. I would love to have videos out on time twice a week every week, but my health constantly makes that difficult for me.
Recently my migraines have returned along with dissociative seizures which leave me so tired and with headaches. It’s made it so I cannot record, or I can’t edit and I’m missing so many videos which makes me so mad! I want to be able to bring in money and I’m really far off that. Disability benefits are a constant fight, I would much rather make money doing something I love it it’s such a lovely hobby to have.
Another new hobby is sewing, me and mom are sewing together and constantly my illnesses stop me being able to do it! Memory issues, anxiety, pain, and fatigue mean I’m so slow with each item I want to make!
Over and over again my illnesses are stopping me and holding me back from reaching my goals and I just want to scream! I always like to think anything can be achieved if you just find a way, but I do at times wish I had help with my channel and blog so I can reach those goals. I might be disabled, but I still have dreams and things I would love to achieve in life, it just feels impossible.
But then I saw a video I think on tiktok or Instagram, that reminded me to snap out of the worker mindset. I am not well, and I need to stop comparing myself to people who are fit and healthy. Yes, growing my channel is slow and yes, I struggle to make the things I want to sew, but I will get there.
So, yes, it is frustrating when my illnesses really slow me down, but also, I need to go with the flow and maybe I need to think of new ways to create my content. Do you ever feel like this?
Thank you xx
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